i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
