Porn is love you can see.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
