Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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