so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
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