So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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