Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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