you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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