I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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