I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
