Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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