i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
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She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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