That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
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I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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