no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
