I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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