i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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