Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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