From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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