Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
