you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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