We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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