So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
