Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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