dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
