i don't like sucking hair
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
