You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
