Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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