I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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