my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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