how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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