i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
