Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We need to get me chipped asap
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
