her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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