I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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