I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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