Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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