he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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