The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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