Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
