she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
