absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
