Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize