Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
