More tranny stories later!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
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my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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