why didn't you poke me back
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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