I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
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So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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