she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
