This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
