I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize