u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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