HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize