omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
