That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
