1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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