sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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