Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
